Schizohuman's take on S. Korean courtesy

Today we are going to take a small break and have a guest blogger. She is the writer of the blog Schizohuman and was kind enough to be my guest blogger. Take a look at her blog after you read this if you are interested in Schizophrenia. She has allot of information on the subject.


Guest Post: A look at Cultures


In one’s culture, different types of behavior can be considered insulting to another person from another culture. Because of this, understanding how different cultures work can be a tough subject to wrap one’s head around.


According to Adler and Proctor II (2007), non-verbal gestures have different meanings in various cultures, and we tend to filter others’ behaviors through our own by our backgrounds. “Cultural background also influences the way we interpret others’ emotions as well as the way we express our own” (2007). 
Relating to Schizohuman, this makes it hard for those with mental disorders; any unintentional behavior from these disorders could be misinterpreted as offensive.  


For example, if a person has catatonic symptoms of schizophrenia such as lack of movement or speech, a person from a culture that values eye contact and engagement in conversation might think it as inattentive or boredom. 


Basic South Korean Nonverbal Gestures 


In South Korea, many basic gestures are valued in communication. Simon and Martina of the Eat Your Kimchi website demonstrate in a podcast the appropriate and inappropriate gestures South Koreans use. Some are listed here.


Appropriate gestures:

• When calling attention to someone, all fingers in had must be used and pointing down towards the ground. 
• When receiving a gift or object, both hands must be used when taking the object as a sign of respect

 Inappropriate gestures:

• When calling to someone, it is insulting to use the index finger for pointing or beckoning. 
• When calling to someone, it is insulting to have the fingers pointing upwards, even if using all fingers at once. 
• When receiving a gift or object, it is insulting to use one hand. 

Hand gestures and other nonverbal communication are important in any culture. It is vital to understand that gestures that are acceptable in one culture are not always accepted as appropriate in another. Learning the ways and communications of others cultures can help one understand their own culture and how it interacts with other people. 


References:


(2011). In Eat Your Kimchi. Retrieved April 30, 2012, from http://www.eatyourkimchi.com/how-to-use-korean-hand-gestures/


Adler, R. B., & Proctor II, R. F. (2007). Looking Out, Looking In (12th ed., pp. 209-210). Mason: Thomson Wadsworth.

Vbog

Meeting and Dating in S. Korea

Meeting Someone New

If you are visiting S. Korea of course you are going to meet many people. While doing so you will realize quite a few things.

• They will ask you many personal questions that normally a stranger would not ask back home.

This is very normal in S. Korea so do not worry about them asking you how old you are, where you work, and why you are here in S. Korea. They ask this because they want to know how they should talk to you. If you are older then they are they want to speak to you respectfully. Plus if they ask for your phone number it is because they want to be friends and get to know you better.

Dating

Dating in S. Korea is a little bit different from Western cultures. In the past you meet someone and you wait 3-4 days to call them or text them. Or they go on a double date and hang out together to get to know each other with their friends tagging along in public places. In Korea it is basically the opposite of the 3-4 day rule.

• Do not freak out when you get a text from the Korean girl or boy on the same day or the next.. This is normal and a very good sign! This means that they are interested in you but if you do not hear from them for more then 2 or so days it means that they are not interested.

Proper Gift Giving in S. Korea.

I have given my friend Seyoung and her family many gifts over the years. From my experience there is really no wrong way to give a gift here in S. Korea as a foreigner being everyone is very understanding. But if you wish to know about this information here it is!

• Never give a gift wrapped in white or in a white bag. White is normally what S. Korean's wear to a funeral. Stick with bright colors and patterns or just solid colors other then white.
• Stay away from multiples of 4 because the number 4 is considered unlucky. Which means don't give 4, 8, 12, and 16 items to someone.
• If you are receiving a gift never open it in front of the person who gave it. Always ask before opening it if it is alright for you to do so in front of them.
• Anything is acceptable as a gift. I have given Seyoung and her family things I have made. I have also given them things I have bought and they seemed to love anything I gave them. But try not to go overboard with the price because they will sometimes return the favor in appreciation for the gift. 
• Do not give a gift just so you can get gifts in return.

Things that are considered rude in S. Korea.

These are just some behaviors or things I think are very important to know before going to Korea or into a Korean home. I have personally learned this information or experienced these things during my visit in S. Korea over the years. They may or may not be correct being this is from my point of view so please bare with me and let me know if it is incorrect. 

Rude behavior  in general.

• Do not walk into a S. Korean home with your shoes on. Always take your shoes off before entering someones home. Traditional restaurants also require you to do this as well. So if you see that the floor is raised at the entrance and there are rows of shoes at the entrance, take them off.. This is to keep the house or restaurant clean and keep dirt from being tracked inside. Even if you think your feel are to smelly to do so, take off your shoes. S. Koreans take this very seriously.
• Talking very loudly on the bus, subway, in someones home, or in a restaurant. Use your inside voices in places like these because sometimes you will be told to "Shhh." others. 
• Staring into someone eyes. This is considered to be aggressive behavior and very rude. I am not saying to not look at the persons face but try not to make to much eye contact. In America when your parents want you to listen and tell the truth they force you to look them in the eyes while doing so... You don't have to do that here.

Acceptable S. Korean Table Manners

During the time I have been friends with Seyoung and when I visited S. Korea in person, I have learned quite a few things about Korean table manners. They have many rules for when they eat compared to our own., but if you are eating with a Korean family, visiting Korea, or working in Korea as a foreigner try not worry about it to much.

Because S. Koreans are normally very understanding but if you want to make a good first impression what I am about to list will help. Many of these rules deal with respect for your elders and those around you.

Polite, respectful behavior, and manners during your Meal.

• Waiting for the elder of the group to sit down first before you take your seat.
• Waiting for the oldest person to lift their spoon or chopsticks to eat before you do.
• Take your time eating and do not finishing before your elders.
• Eating rice with a spoon.
• Eat soups with a spoon.
• Picking up things to put in your plate with chopsticks.
• Pour drinks or others first, with elders and seniors at the top of that list.
• When someone refills your drink hold it with both hands. With elders, have one holding the glass then have the other holds the bottom of the glass..
• When refilling someone else's drink support your hand with your other or support your elbow.
• Place your chopsticks or spoon back on the table.
• Do not waste food, eat only what you need, and don't take excessive amounts of food.
• Always thank the person who treated you to a meal in their home or in public.
• If you have to sneeze or cough at the table always turn away and cover your mouth while doing so.
• If you use a toothpick at the table cover your mouth so no one else can see.
• When drinking alcohol with an elder turn to the side to take a drink.

Rude table behavior.

• Blowing your nose at the table.
• Touching everything and moving the food in the main bowls with your chopsticks to much.
• Pouring your own drink.
• Refusing Alcohol from an elder.
• Sticking your chopsticks straight up in your bowl of rice. This is because it looks like traditional Korean ancestor ceremonies.
• Making allot of noise during your meal and eat as quiet as possible with your chopsticks or spoons..
• Talking while chewing your food.
• Leaving the table before the elders.
• Coughing or sneezing facing the table.
• Eating anything but finger foods with your hands.
• Reading something at the table while eating.
• Watching TV while eating.
• Having your spoon and chopsticks in the same hand while eating.
• Stabbing food with your chopsticks.
• Staring at an elder while drinking.

Please note that this is what I have learned over the years from observing others or talking with my friend Seyoung. It may or may not be correct being this is from my point of view.

How to Greet someone in S. Korea

With my personal experience in S. Korea, normally it was not a problem how I greeted everyone. They were all understanding, knew I was a foreigner, and were very helpful. I don't think it would be a problem if you went to S. Korea and just greeted them like you normally would but like America there are a mixture different personality's. Some are more understanding then others and there is always a possibility you will run into those who are not. Please understand this is what I have learned personally and from my S. Korean friend.

1.)    Before greeting anyone at all you must understand the following...

• Staring directly into someones eyes is not considered proper etiquette. In S. Korea it is considered to be rude, challenging(aggressive), and rebellious behavior. So if you are in trouble and they want you to tell the truth. Please do not do it like American's would and stare into their eyes while doing so. I am sure that you won't have to worry about this but like I have said before... there is a possibility that you might run into someone who isn't as understanding as others. Which will normally be very rare... I hope.
• You do not have to greet them in Korean but it does help to know a little and it is a nice way to break the ice.

2.)    If you are in a normal setting you are going to ask and answer these questions mentally. This determines how you will greet this person and what you should do.

•  Is this person someone you know or a stranger? 
•  Is this person younger or older then you?

3.)  The greetings.

 This person is the same age or younger then you and you know them already you normally do the following. 

• Walk up to them, just say "An-young(Hello)!" You may include their name, you can just shake their hand, or hug them. What ever you and this person are comfortable with. I normally say "An-young Seyoung!" and then give my friend a hug being we are so close. If you are not close to this person but still know them it may not be proper to hug them. But from my personal experience, outside the work place, once S. Koreans know your name you have already entered the relationship point of being a friend and are very friendly. I suggest letting them make the first move after you say hello if you are unsure of what to do after greeting them. Normally after a few times you easily figure out what kind of greeting your friend is comfortable with.

This person is older then you and you know them already a greeting similar to what is stated below would be alright. 

• This greeting is similar to the one above but the only difference is how you speak to your elder. Always speak to your elders with respect, a simple bow of the head when you greet them, and if they want to shake your hand or hug you, let them decide. I think you normally greet them formally with "An-young Ha-sey-yo(Hello)." along with their name.  This is how I greeted my elders in Korea and so far no one has corrected me. So I am guessing that they are okay with it or understand that I am trying to be courteous despite being a foreigner.

This person is younger than you and you do not know them.

• A simple "An-young." will do with a nod of the head. But if you are not sure if they may be older or not simply say "An-young Ha-sey-yo." just in case. I used this one when I met people on the street. They were very happy to hear me trying to speak to them in their own language and being we just met we normally did not shake hands. Unless by habit I held my hand out to shake theirs.

This person is your elder and you do not know them.

• This greeting is exactly the same as the one above but of course you do not know their name. A simple nod of the head will be alright and let them take the lead on if they want to shake your hand or not. I never had a elder who was a stranger offer to shake my hand really unless I held out my hand out of habit.